Today, TV was showing once more the faboulus movie "The Green Mile". I couldn't watch the whole movie but I got on a spot that it was said: "Stop it! People are made to talk and not to scream".
I kinda liked this phrase, so as I always do, I did some chemical tests with my brain to prove to myself or not if this phrase is really true.
I thought that we scream when we:
are scared
want to make someone rapidly change a situation/action
feel that we really need attention
are pissed/nervous/mad at someone/something
when we are so happy that we cannot take it anymore
Most of the ange reasons I came across looked negative ones and one tricky. Nevertheless I made myself change thoughts and move to the next channel. There were news (and as news are always sad) they were talking about the financial situation in Greece and the "negative changes" that we are going to face while saying that they are afraid that people will run against government.
At this time I was hearing so loud in my ears the phrase "People are made to talk and not to scream". I felt that all these years that the political situation in Greece (and in every "Greece" around the world) was like that no one was ever there to talk about it. Everybody was keeping mouth shut and maybe contributing in an own way in the same mess.
I am not saying that we should not scream now. I am saying that we should talk on time. As we also say in Greece, what you gonna eat is what you cook.
Nevertheless, let this be a big lesson for all of us, and the rest of the world, because after Greece, another country wil be waiting in this international economical jungle.
Although English come out of my tongue difficultly anymore, I keep it in English…
Some days before I eavesdropped the "discussion" bellow:
Mrs A: Hello Mrs B! How are you?
Mrs B: … (no sound back)
Mrs A: Did you hear me? I asked how you are.
Mrs B: I said well.
Mrs A: Sorry, I didn't hear that.
Mrs B: That is not my problem!
The discussion moved on to almost a fight having the elder Mrs A saying to the younger girl that in this life she is not alone and she has to get along with the people.
I was shocked. Many thoughts crossed my mind. I said that girl is crazy, I though that maybe they were fighting before or that I didn’t hear well.
Finally I came up with the idea that the younger girl should have been reaching this level of reaction after a long time alone. What was that missing?
Everything. Most probably she could have been a person that is not receiving love so remains unable to give some back.
I am definite that all of us need some short of love. Some grams of this feeling. Aren't we? It was said that we live and we die alone. According to me this doesn’t mean that we are alone. This means that we are alone on these specific moments of our lives, not for ever.
The girl B proved out to be a psychologist! This new made think about another concept. What if there was a specific quantity of love that we all needed to receive and give in order to reach the ability of being balanced people? Imagine if we were going to our love doctors and they were telling us. This month you have received unbearably few grams of love or you haven't given the level of the love you should have, it is the time to go out and hug a bunch of people.
Unfortunately life is not always simple as mathematics. So there is only one way, let's try to spread our love to every direction possible. I am not sure we will succeed like that, but it could be a cool attempt.
Listening to Brian Mcfadden song "Real to Me", I found the 3:43 minutes to ask myself what is real to me?
That's a tough question right?
Probably, our values, the ones we have and not believe or would like to, is what is real to me. So our "Ego" is the most real to us. When we act while thinking about ourselves.
At this point, I feel like giving my personal meaning about "Ego". We tend to say that this person, for example, is a very egoistic person, right? What does it mean? That this person cares only about themself. If we try to face it on the other side of the coin we can say that a person that is the least egoistic is doing things caring only for the others, right?
My question is: "Isn't someone doing everything for the others in order to see the same thing happening to them, too? Aren't we egoistically giving the penny for charity thinking that if we will be in the same place we will expect to get it back? Aren't we deep inside clap or approve a not so good attempt in order to receive the same for our attempt?"
If the answer is yes, what is real to me?
Wake up you might be dreaming,
wake up you might be dreaming now...
I have read a few things in my life but never read or even heard what is the best way to say Goodbye. We are conquering the space and we do not have the appropriate words to say how fucking desperate we feel, how idiot and dull, how destroyed, heart-broken, emotionless, stuck, terrified that we will not possibly see again the same people, kiss the same lips, relax on the same shoulder, cry because we are inspired or motivated by them, feel the touch on the shoulders, taste the same hug in the difficult moment.
It is strange.
If I had the ability to ban a phrase that would be the: "Keep in touch!". NO! I don’t want to keep in touch, I to have you with me, next to me always there but what I have to endure to have you just in me.
I asked myself and my people around me. Is it better to cry for the ones you lose or celebrate for the times you spent with them? For sure the second, but what if I want to cry and celebrate. What if I want to have all the feelings in the same bottle? What if I want shampoo, conditioner, softer and cream in the same bottle?
There are moments that I make the thought I should not connect with people so that I would not feel bad to leave them back. I am loosing myself.
If someone has ever feel strong enough to shape the world I would ask them what about the people we love and they live far from us? What about them? The moment you have to run in order your tears not to be seen bumping burning out of your eyes, you always feel like the weakest existence on earth.
And what if we are? I mean when I feel I can change the world I don’t have proven results that I can do it, when I feel like I cannot bridge the distance path I have all the proofs there.
At the moment I learn how to reach home without getting lost on the way, I find myself without a home.
Is it destiny or maybe habit?
The importance lies maybe on what a home is. What is a home?
Is it the place where your friends are? The place where the ones you love are? The place with "your" stuff? Is it the place where you can hide? Is it the place that gives you the safety to accumulate all the adventures you had out of it? Is home the reflection space you take in a conference?
Ancient Greeks had one whole God responsible for the home "affairs". She was Estia. She was highly connected to fire. So was maybe for the ancient Greeks the warmth the main characteristics defining the home? I guess I don’t know. What I know is maybe that home is a short of imaginary or created concept. If life is a game for example, as many people say, where is the home part? If life was monopoly, would jail be the home, or would it be the parking lot?
It seems on the other hand, that even home is a created concept, many beings around us have the need of it. We are even putting our Gods in homes. We are amazing.
On the other side, home maybe is an idea that we give the meaning on it. That would be nicer. It would also make it easier to have more homes than one!
Nevertheless, I am on the process of rebuilding my home, and I hope that it will be the more creating, refreshing and self stimulating home ever.
With all the love somebody can have for the homes of the past.
My profilers (test showing characteristics of someone's self) say that I am a around 99% of positive feelings person. Nevertheless, I just noticed that the name of my blog is hiding a negativity.
Instead of choosing aLifeFullOfBridges uncosiously I chose for name aLifeWithoutBorders.
That's the reason why I now decided with exception to my topics around Borders and Selfborders, to have topics on Bridges...
Over the past 2-3 months I am playing a online game which, no matter if someone can believe me, has given to me the chance to make one step bridging the gap called "Age".
I decided to write about Age tonight because a person that I highly admire told me that she should have a certain approach to her parents because of their age.
When I read this words on my skype chat, I saw what my favourite writer (not because he was the best writer ever, but because he was writing as if being the best human ever) was meaning while talking about the fact that modern society is categorising the people according to age, by making bigger the generation gap while locking the kids away from the stories of the grandma, closer to the computer, by making age oriented types of entertainment, education and living.
The attitudde of the age is coming not because of the age itself but because the rest of the people treat us as if we belong to a certain category and we let them influence us. How many times do we say these clothes are for people younger than you? How many times do we hear: "Your age demands you being more serious" ?
I tried for a second to think how would our world be different if the Barrier "Age" would not be functioning for a while... How many people would sing louder on the street, sleep at a boring lecture, cry when they want to do, lough loud without caring if they are in a church or a library, how many people would be happier and how many would be more sad?
What about when we treat our family as a group of people of a specific age? What when we share with them what we would share with any other friendly (or not) figure of the same age? I would invite all of us (myself first), to stop putting firstly ourselves in any age format and also try to embrace a little bit more the people of other age groups.
Going back to the game I play, I got there the chance to play in a team of virtual players from the age of 10 till the age of Santa Claus (: and I really find it interesting. Very interesting indeed. Many times I am checking these people faces on Facebook and I am thinking that out of this virtual society 99% we would never had the chance to change a word, isn't that unfair?
The online game is ikariam.gr (available also in many other languages)
My aliance is FAIR
My favourite authur is Leo Buscalia for his book Loving Learning Living
Today I was having one chat around Talent Management and said to the people I was talking to that every single member has to be treated as the next President of the whole organisation. This is the only way to ensure that we will have an impact. Think of the values that you want the next President to have and make sure that you will give these values and these characteristics to your people.
Saying these words, not more than 10 minutes after, somewhere between the broken shower I was having I thought about something even more fascinating. It is great if we treat the very single person as the next President, but what does this mean? This mean that we all hide the ability to become the role models of the next President (we reach even higher).
This idea reached to a even greater sequence of thoughts. It means that when we inspire, motivate and grow (or sometimes NOT) - so we cultivate the next President(s). Which means that we all had the chance to affect the source (theoretically or practically) of the decision making process. Something which means that when in an organisation in order to reach the top you have to pass from all the minor levels that creates a more "democratic" process.
Connecting dots I reached to real life... (This is the place where I felt more ashamed of for the world we are building). I thought that most of our politicians are never passing from all the levels of a "let's say" social structure but most of the times wake up on the top of the hill. Politics, nevertheless, are not my kind of field to keep thinking for a long time (how bad? maybe I need to write another border for that) so I said - since I am trying very hard to be characterized as a solution oriented person (very nice subject also) I asked myself; "Easy to blame politicians, but what am I doing -me, myself and I- about this? Am I treating all the people around me as if they were the next Presidents?
The first answer that came to my mind very openly, widely, honestly and completely unbiased was "NO". I felt sad about this, I looked at my mobile phone and directly changed the photo on the "desktop" with the big TM (Talent Management) on my back and but one with background a bus. I felt really a tiny small humankind something engaged or better trapped in a small paper box afraid to look at my world around me. How do I want to be called Talent Manager when I am not seeing all the people around me as the next Presidents? Impact is not finishing after 17.30.
The only thing I could say to myself is to promise that I will try to become better, that it is not time to feel guilty but time to take the step forward, and not plan, but to then next step as if I was originally to be the one to do it.
In order to put aside the scary thoughts that were storming over my head (you are not a TM! You are not a good people developer either! You do not respect the world around you! You don’t know what is an opportunity no matter how much you talk about them etc), I decided to execute the plan I was planning in order to watch the next generation lap top I dream to buy.
Just before 12 steps before the stairs of the metro reaching at Duomo I saw this big Diesel advertisement (that I comment on another post) saying "Be stupid!" with huge letters. I smiled nicely since I had all these positive ideas about this campaign (please read the relevant post to understand what I mean - find the link here) I smiled. But then I thought, but what if I am really stupid? What if all these people around me are totally, definitely without any exit stupid till death? I focused to all my thoughts of the day like a tape going back, and reached at the moment where I said: "You have to treat all the people around you like they are the next Presidents" and I said I am stupid! I understood that something was missing, and that was me!
"What if I am the next President? What if all of us was the next President and we knew it? How would our lives be? Would we eat the same food? Going to the same school? Wearing the same clothes? Making the same friends? Would we fell in love with the same people? Would we getting drunk the same times? Would we smile more to the people? Would we be happier? Would we manage to be the president we are dreaming of having?"
This black storm over my head started making my curly hair wet again. This was the first smart idea! It is not just the others! We are all the next potential presidents, or at least this is the way to see ourselves. It is not the time to underestimate the President, it is time to be the best.
Don't know how many of you have seen the new promo campaign of Diesel (if you live in Milan even if you are blind I am sure you can find it somewhere written in Brayle - since you see it in the metro, on busses, at the street, on public screans, in your dreams etc.).
The main concept is that it suggest you to follow your heart, feelings, passion etc. It does though by provoking your feelings.
As Diesel says:
"Diesel Stupid Philosophy
Like balloons, we are filled with hopes and dreams. But. Over time a single sentence creeps into our lives. Don’t be stupid. It’s the crusher of possibility. It’s the worlds greatest deflator. The world is full of smart people. Doing all kind of smart things… Thats smart.
Well, we’re with stupid. Stupid is the relentless pursuit of a regret free life. Smart may have the brains…
but stupid has the balls. The smart might recognize things for how they are. The stupid see things for how they could be. Smart critiques. Stupid creates. The fact is if we didnt have stupid thoughts wed have no interesting thoughts at all. Smart may have the plans… but stupid has the stories.
Smart may have the authority but stupid has one hell of a hangover. Its not smart to take risks… Its stupid.
To be stupid is to be brave. The stupid isnt afraid to fail. The stupid know there are worse things than failure… like not even trying.
Smart had one good idea, and that idea was stupid. You can’t outsmart stupid. So don’t even try. Remember only stupid can be truly brilliant.
So, BE STUPID"
I found these words so stupid and relevant to our societies like never before (so much that I decided to promote it for free). It is somehow related also to my previous post. We create in our lives all these "SMART" actions and all the "STUPID" ones, so much that we minimise not our passion and will but our limits for creativity and so life.
Coming one step back, when I first saw this campaign I remembered my parents. When I was younger - even now, they have been telling (or sometimes yelling at) me; "Don't be stupid, don't do what we did, be smart! Do what he did and you will get this, you will get the other, you will not need to put so much effort in this way, care about yourself bla bla...". Things that they are also not finding proper, but life sometimes (if not most of them) turns the easy way into proper.
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For those interested in the campaign of Diesel click here.
Can't forget the words that a father advised to a friend/colleague of mine; "You are becoming a one-sided person in AIESEC, you are working all the time for one thing, and this is bad for your development". I never heard these words directly but they were kept close to my heart. As all the words we don't to listen to because our ego is stronger than our "prudence". Almost one year after and my world is shaking around unilateralism and one-sided people, decisions, lives. Specializations and compendiums, rules and short-mindness make the people around me crash over flexibility.
Flexibility is missing like hell. Years ago someone would be sure that computers would never think us we do, that they would never get this thing we call artificial intelligence. This is a past though. We are coming all the time closer to that. My only fear is that the development in intelligence of the computers is minor to the decrease of capacity for decision making ability of human. We listen all the time; "This person is very spontaneous!", "Don't think with the heart!", "You have to do that! Look how good you are in this!". All these things make us think as computers, so instead of making the computers be like us we become like them. We learn how to plan, with dates, hours, minutes, responsibilities, rows of information, etc., we learn how to prioritise, money, fame, success, work etc., when are we going to learn how to take what we want, sometimes I wonder when?
I feel that if someone comes to me to tell me how can I be successful I can easily design for them a platform or a way to do it (even if I don’t know what success is), but what about happiness? How can we be happy when we don’t know how to be simple? I am also crashing into this.
Maybe now it is the moment when I understand the most the meaning of the words "It is not the destination, but the trip till that". It really is. If we would see it like that we would be for sure more happy. Because look how this "Destination" attitude works. If I ask someone why they work, the answer is profound, for money. So what we have? We have a one sided part of the day, MONEY. At this time, we don’t care about the people around, we don’t care if we are ok, happy, comfortable. "Now I am working, I don’t have time for bullshiting!". We don’t care about people, now it is time to work. And then the most pervert syndrome is coming. This is the "learn how to divide the personal and the professional matters of your life!". Whoever said that first wish to be burnt in hell (not true).
How can someone split Personal and Professional?
When I am working it is not me, myself, my own person that is working? Who is it? My cousin or my robot? I really need an answer for that. People that are bustards in their job they are also bastards in their lives. If someone is lazy in their work can be cool and funny in the personal life but I can guess that I also get chances to have fun with that person even in the job (not all the lazy people are funny of course).
I want to write here an example of how we become one sided people very easily, and then we believe that whatever is boring, and this makes us lose everything.
...It happened that once I was playing a card game, something like Uno or Agonia in Greek. 4 people playing with cards and the ones on the opposite sides are making teams. If you can find a way to communicate without the opponents understanding you it is very easy to win for "strategic" reasons. So when I was playing that game two of the people of us found in common a language that the rest didn’t know... The rest of the game was 1 sided activity with only target to win. The only fun was coming from moments that everyone were understanding what happening but unfortunately these were too few.
So what is the point?
In everything we do there are some points and some rules and also some goals. It is great to achieve the goals but how much better it is not to lose yourself till achieving them?
